Two days before my 37th birthday I was told that I have Breast Cancer.
Truth be told, I already had that gut feeling the week earlier when I went for my mammogram.
And if I’m honest again… when I found the lump, I wasn’t exactly ‘not worried’. With a strong history of Breast Cancer in my family, I dreaded even going to find out!
When the news broke I had so many feelings!
Why me????
Was it not bad enough that I’d lost my Koko, my Dad and an adopted daughter already this year? Had I not already been tested enough? Had I not grown enough? Could I not just get a break??? Life and Business was thriving and now I was going to have to put it all on hold while I fix myself. How dare life do this to me!!!!ย 
๐คฌ
๐ 
๐ก
๐ต
๐ญ
Fix it mode!!!
Right! OK. It is what it is, I can’t change it, so I just need to get through what I’ve got to get through. Do what I’ve got to do. I’ve been through so much in my life, I can get through this too.
๐ค
๐ช
Protector mode…
What will the kids say, how will they feel? What will my family say, how will they feel? We’ve all already been through the ringer this year, I don’t want to cause more pain. I won’t tell them till I absolutely need to. The less time they feel pain, the better for them.ย 
๐จ
๐
๐จโ๐ฉโ๐ฆโ๐ฆ
I’m a Burden.
My friends and family have done so much for me already this year. I’ve relied on them so much through my other struggles. I won’t tell them either cos I don’t want to burden them.ย 
๐ซ๐ต
๐ค
But… it all came to an end one day when Eli and I realised we had held so much in that we burst and sadly our kids took the brunt of itย 
๐ข๐
So we sat them down and told themย 
๐ฃ๏ธ
๐
I won’t lie… there were tearsย ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญย that broke my heartย ๐๐๐
But there was also loveย 
๐
๐
and words that our eldest son said to usย ๐ฃ๏ธ
“We are family, we do things together, you don’t have to do this alone”ย ๐จโ๐ฉโ๐ฆโ๐ฆ
๐ฉโโค๏ธโ๐จ
It made me realise that I was wrong to keep this from them.ย ๐ข
That in fact they had grown into incredible young men who were able to be my rock too, as I hope that I am one of theirs.
๐ป
It made me realise that I needed to tell people!
This year I’d learned and practiced being a Master Asker, even in the most difficult of times… the world was readying me for times like these.
I knew that I needed to ask for help when I needed it and accept help when offered.
I’ve also started to be more ‘present’ in all that I do (well as much as you can with your head spinning with decisions to make).
And I’m grateful… for the life that I have, the people I enjoy it with and the times like these that give me opportunities to learn, grow and help others!
From the bottom of my heart I thank you all!
For your love, your support and for offering helpย 
๐
Let’s kick Cancer in the ass xx