Have you wondered what the reality of Breast Cancer is?
Well this is my reality… A breast cancer diagnosis which resulted in having a skin sparing mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. This is the first of multiple surgeries I will have because of this disease.
You know that feeling you get the night before a big event. When your stomach churns and gives you butterflies and sleep almost always never happens? That was sort of how the night before my surgery felt, except I wasn’t excited. I was more in mourning, I was scared and suddenly my diagnosis had become all too real.
I cried! Alot!
I looked at myself in the mirror, I took photo’s of my body and got upset because I knew my body was about to change and I would never look the same again.
I was also scared because part of the surgery was to test my sentinel lymph node (the first lymph node from my breast) to see if the cancer had spread.
To ensure they removed the correct lymph node, the morning of my surgery I had dye injected into my breast and this machine took pictures of where the dye spread to… finding the first lymph node the dye traveled to.
During surgery this lymph node was removed through my arm pit and sent for testing while the surgeon completed the rest of my mastectomy. If it came back positive for cancer, it would indicate the cancer had spread and they’d remove more of my lymph nodes. It would also alter my on-going treatment plan.
The surgeon promised my husband he would call him as soon as he got out of surgery to let him know the results of the lymph node test… thankfully, it came back negative! When I regained consciousness after the surgery, it was the first thing my husband said to me… it was just what I wanted to hear!
My surgery consisted of two surgeons performing back to back surgeries. The first being the lymph node removal and mastectomy – opening up my breast and removing all of the breast tissue, including the cancer tumors, DCIS and my nipple, leaving the skin of my breast in tact.
The second surgery, performed by a specialist in plastics, completed the job. She lifted my pectoral muscle, placed an expander implant under it and restitched me back up.
Quite a beautiful job, in my humble opinion. But my feelings towards this new ‘boob’ are not great ones.
As far as I’m concerned, it’s not a boob! It feels like a hard, unnatural lump that’s sticking out of my body that doesn’t move. I have lost all feeling there and I no longer have a nipple.
I did contemplate not having this surgery. I considered fighting the Breast Cancer completely naturally. After much research, thought and discussion I decided that what was best for me and my family was for me to have the mastectomy, so I did.
I still have at least two more surgeries to go. One to finalise the reconstruction, a possible one to form a nipple and one to make the right boob more symmetrical with the left. How these look and when these will happen are all up in the air right now. But I’m taking one day at a time!
This is not a procedure I wish upon anyone. However, I always look for the positives!
I’m thankful that the cancer was caught early and it hadn’t spread to my lymph nodes.
I’m grateful for the opportunity to have the reconstruction straight away, I know some people who have to wait at least two years.
It gives me more symmetry, although I am still a bit lop-sided, I have a bit more confidence, especially when I’m in dresses.
I am also grateful for being alive.
Breast cancer is a survivable disease… but it’s not a nice one!
Sending love,
Wyndi xx