January 2016, Mary was diagnosed with Estrogen receptive breast cancer of the right breast which had spread to her lymph nodes.
Her diagnosis had taken some time. The first signs that things weren’t right started in 2014. She started to feel achy in her armpit but ignored it.
In June 2015 she had an ache in her breast and thought she might be pregnant. Pregnancy tests showed up negative and the other signs of pregnancy that she had felt with her three children weren’t there either.
In August she decided to visit the doctor. She told the doctor that she felt something wasn’t right, but she didn’t know what to expect the doctor to do to fix it. As pain is rarely a sign of breast cancer and she showed no other symptoms, breast cancer was ruled out.
Over the coming two months things didn’t get any better so she went to the doctors again, seeing a different doctor who suggested she may have pulled something from the walking she had started doing. The doctor told her to see how she feels over the next month. With no changes, Mary was back at the doctors again on November. Still presenting no other signs of breast cancer
On Boxing day 2015 the pain became unbearable and she visited the A n E. She went back to her doctor in early January telling the doctor that she really wasn’t right and the pain was bad.
Finally a mammogram and ultrasound was booked and she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
Mary’s first thoughts were “Thank f@@k it’s not in my head.” She wasn’t surprised but was devastated. “When you are told you have cancer, you think you’re going to die. I thought that for months.”
Her husband was with her and she remembers looking over at him and he had his head in his hands.
From there “I kept my head in the clouds. The doctors had a whole plan set out for me. They said I was definitely going to need a mastectomy and when you hear that, you want that straight away.”
A month after diagnosis Mary had a mastectomy and chemotherapy started about 8 weeks later and went on for 5 long months
“Once I got told I needed chemo, that was the scariest thing ever. I was a blubbering mess through each chemo treatment. I went in thinking I’m not going to survive this, I’m going to die! If cancer doesn’t kill me then chemo will.
When asked when some of the tougher times were Mary thought about the days when she just wanted a break, a break from treatment a break from worrying about paying the bills and how we were going to keep a roof over our head. Even a break from the kids would have been bliss but you feel guilty not spending every moment you can with them as you don’t know how long you will be around for.
Dealing with WINZ was a challenge that no one in our position should have to go through. With Mary being off work for surgery and treatments and her husband taking time off to help with her recovery as well as taking care of the kids, money was tight. They approached WINZ to ask for assistance to pay their rent, but were denied as their income for the 12 months prior was over the threshold. There seemed to be no accommodating people in their situation. It took three separate declines from WINZ and not being able to pay their rent before someone at WINZ found a way to help them and even then it didn’t even cover half the rent. Cancer cost Mary $40k of lost income and incurred debt in 2016. The family cut back on everything they could.
On a positive note, Mary’s diagnosis has helped her realise a way to fulfill her purpose of helping others. Before her diagnosis she was enrolled into a course she was passionate about. She wasn’t able to start, but will be re-enrolling as she’s realised the importance of making a difference in the lives of others.
Until then, Mary is back in employment and has negotiated her work hours so she can spend more time with her children and do night classes. To her, time is important and she’s working on spending all the time she has with those she loves and helping those who are suffering as she had.
*names have been changed as requested.