Eli’s Side to this Breast Cancer Story
One of the hardest parts of this breast cancer journey has been the impact on my husband and children.
I owe a great deal of gratitude to my husband. It’s been a rough and raw year for us with my Grandfather and Father dying earlier this year and now dealing with a breast cancer diagnosis. When I say he’s my rock, I mean every inch of the word.
And just because he is a man, does not mean he’s invincible to feeling pain and emotions. Quite the contrary, I’ve watched him feel pain like I’ve never seen before. When you face the possibility of losing the one you love, it brings perspective to life.
Over these past few months, he and I have grown so much stronger in our marriage. Not only do we talk more openly and honestly about our feelings, we set time for doing so and even have a space in our home we go to, so we aren’t off loading in front of the children or in our bedroom.
I am so proud of my husband. I’ve made some big changes in my life and not only has he been 100% supportive, he’s taken some of the new changes on board for himself too.
I am blessed to have Eli in my life, my guardian angels were definitely looking over me the day we met.
I hope you enjoy what Eli has to say,
Wyndi xx
Skin Sparing Mastectomy with Immediate Reconstruction
Have you wondered what the reality of Breast Cancer is?
Well this is my reality… A breast cancer diagnosis which resulted in having a skin sparing mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. This is the first of multiple surgeries I will have because of this disease.
You know that feeling you get the night before a big event. When your stomach churns and gives you butterflies and sleep almost always never happens? That was sort of how the night before my surgery felt, except I wasn’t excited. I was more in mourning, I was scared and suddenly my diagnosis had become all too real.
I cried! Alot!
I looked at myself in the mirror, I took photo’s of my body and got upset because I knew my body was about to change and I would never look the same again.
I was also scared because part of the surgery was to test my sentinel lymph node (the first lymph node from my breast) to see if the cancer had spread.
To ensure they removed the correct lymph node, the morning of my surgery I had dye injected into my breast and this machine took pictures of where the dye spread to… finding the first lymph node the dye traveled to.
During surgery this lymph node was removed through my arm pit and sent for testing while the surgeon completed the rest of my mastectomy. If it came back positive for cancer, it would indicate the cancer had spread and they’d remove more of my lymph nodes. It would also alter my on-going treatment plan.
The surgeon promised my husband he would call him as soon as he got out of surgery to let him know the results of the lymph node test… thankfully, it came back negative! When I regained consciousness after the surgery, it was the first thing my husband said to me… it was just what I wanted to hear!
My surgery consisted of two surgeons performing back to back surgeries. The first being the lymph node removal and mastectomy – opening up my breast and removing all of the breast tissue, including the cancer tumors, DCIS and my nipple, leaving the skin of my breast in tact.
The second surgery, performed by a specialist in plastics, completed the job. She lifted my pectoral muscle, placed an expander implant under it and restitched me back up.
Quite a beautiful job, in my humble opinion. But my feelings towards this new ‘boob’ are not great ones.
As far as I’m concerned, it’s not a boob! It feels like a hard, unnatural lump that’s sticking out of my body that doesn’t move. I have lost all feeling there and I no longer have a nipple.
I did contemplate not having this surgery. I considered fighting the Breast Cancer completely naturally. After much research, thought and discussion I decided that what was best for me and my family was for me to have the mastectomy, so I did.
I still have at least two more surgeries to go. One to finalise the reconstruction, a possible one to form a nipple and one to make the right boob more symmetrical with the left. How these look and when these will happen are all up in the air right now. But I’m taking one day at a time!
This is not a procedure I wish upon anyone. However, I always look for the positives!
I’m thankful that the cancer was caught early and it hadn’t spread to my lymph nodes.
I’m grateful for the opportunity to have the reconstruction straight away, I know some people who have to wait at least two years.
It gives me more symmetry, although I am still a bit lop-sided, I have a bit more confidence, especially when I’m in dresses.
I am also grateful for being alive.
Breast cancer is a survivable disease… but it’s not a nice one!
Sending love,
Wyndi xx
A Daughters Admiration of her Mother
When we think of breast cancer it’s natural to think about the person who was diagnosed and the care and support they will need. Sometimes we forget about the children involved.
I was blessed to speak with Kayne and hear about how her mothers breast cancer diagnosis affected her and the admiration she has for her mother.
If you have a story you would like me to share, please get in touch!
With love,
Wyndi xx
Mary’s Breast Cancer Journey
January 2016, Mary was diagnosed with Estrogen receptive breast cancer of the right breast which had spread to her lymph nodes.
Her diagnosis had taken some time. The first signs that things weren’t right started in 2014. She started to feel achy in her armpit but ignored it.
In June 2015 she had an ache in her breast and thought she might be pregnant. Pregnancy tests showed up negative and the other signs of pregnancy that she had felt with her three children weren’t there either.
In August she decided to visit the doctor. She told the doctor that she felt something wasn’t right, but she didn’t know what to expect the doctor to do to fix it. As pain is rarely a sign of breast cancer and she showed no other symptoms, breast cancer was ruled out.
Over the coming two months things didn’t get any better so she went to the doctors again, seeing a different doctor who suggested she may have pulled something from the walking she had started doing. The doctor told her to see how she feels over the next month. With no changes, Mary was back at the doctors again on November. Still presenting no other signs of breast cancer
On Boxing day 2015 the pain became unbearable and she visited the A n E. She went back to her doctor in early January telling the doctor that she really wasn’t right and the pain was bad.
Finally a mammogram and ultrasound was booked and she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
Mary’s first thoughts were “Thank f@@k it’s not in my head.” She wasn’t surprised but was devastated. “When you are told you have cancer, you think you’re going to die. I thought that for months.”
Her husband was with her and she remembers looking over at him and he had his head in his hands.
From there “I kept my head in the clouds. The doctors had a whole plan set out for me. They said I was definitely going to need a mastectomy and when you hear that, you want that straight away.”
A month after diagnosis Mary had a mastectomy and chemotherapy started about 8 weeks later and went on for 5 long months
“Once I got told I needed chemo, that was the scariest thing ever. I was a blubbering mess through each chemo treatment. I went in thinking I’m not going to survive this, I’m going to die! If cancer doesn’t kill me then chemo will.
When asked when some of the tougher times were Mary thought about the days when she just wanted a break, a break from treatment a break from worrying about paying the bills and how we were going to keep a roof over our head. Even a break from the kids would have been bliss but you feel guilty not spending every moment you can with them as you don’t know how long you will be around for.
Dealing with WINZ was a challenge that no one in our position should have to go through. With Mary being off work for surgery and treatments and her husband taking time off to help with her recovery as well as taking care of the kids, money was tight. They approached WINZ to ask for assistance to pay their rent, but were denied as their income for the 12 months prior was over the threshold. There seemed to be no accommodating people in their situation. It took three separate declines from WINZ and not being able to pay their rent before someone at WINZ found a way to help them and even then it didn’t even cover half the rent. Cancer cost Mary $40k of lost income and incurred debt in 2016. The family cut back on everything they could.
On a positive note, Mary’s diagnosis has helped her realise a way to fulfill her purpose of helping others. Before her diagnosis she was enrolled into a course she was passionate about. She wasn’t able to start, but will be re-enrolling as she’s realised the importance of making a difference in the lives of others.
Until then, Mary is back in employment and has negotiated her work hours so she can spend more time with her children and do night classes. To her, time is important and she’s working on spending all the time she has with those she loves and helping those who are suffering as she had.
*names have been changed as requested.
My gratitude to Breast Cancer
Finding out I had breast cancer was not something I was expecting to hear. After the death of my father and grandfather, I almost went through the journey without sharing it with those close to me. I’m glad I changed my mind.
I hope that by sharing my journey with you, the stigma that is often attached to breast cancer will reduce and women will feel more empowered to share their journey too.
I wish to thank all of the people who have supported me on this journey!
With love,
Wyndi xx
Telling people I have Breast Cancer
Two days before my 37th birthday I was told that I have Breast Cancer.
Truth be told, I already had that gut feeling the week earlier when I went for my mammogram.
And if I’m honest again… when I found the lump, I wasn’t exactly ‘not worried’. With a strong history of Breast Cancer in my family, I dreaded even going to find out!
When the news broke I had so many feelings!
Why me????
Was it not bad enough that I’d lost my Koko, my Dad and an adopted daughter already this year? Had I not already been tested enough? Had I not grown enough? Could I not just get a break??? Life and Business was thriving and now I was going to have to put it all on hold while I fix myself. How dare life do this to me!!!! 🤬
😠
😡
😵
😭
Fix it mode!!!
Right! OK. It is what it is, I can’t change it, so I just need to get through what I’ve got to get through. Do what I’ve got to do. I’ve been through so much in my life, I can get through this too.🤔
💪
Protector mode…
What will the kids say, how will they feel? What will my family say, how will they feel? We’ve all already been through the ringer this year, I don’t want to cause more pain. I won’t tell them till I absolutely need to. The less time they feel pain, the better for them. 😨
💔
👨👩👦👦
I’m a Burden.
My friends and family have done so much for me already this year. I’ve relied on them so much through my other struggles. I won’t tell them either cos I don’t want to burden them. 😫
😵
🤐
But… it all came to an end one day when Eli and I realised we had held so much in that we burst and sadly our kids took the brunt of it 😢
💔
So we sat them down and told them 🗣️
👂
I won’t lie… there were tears 😭
😭
😭 that broke my heart
💔
💔
💔
But there was also love 😍
💖
and words that our eldest son said to us 🗣️
“We are family, we do things together, you don’t have to do this alone” 👨👩👦👦
👩❤️👨
It made me realise that I was wrong to keep this from them. 😢
That in fact they had grown into incredible young men who were able to be my rock too, as I hope that I am one of theirs.🗻
It made me realise that I needed to tell people!
This year I’d learned and practiced being a Master Asker, even in the most difficult of times… the world was readying me for times like these.
I knew that I needed to ask for help when I needed it and accept help when offered.
I’ve also started to be more ‘present’ in all that I do (well as much as you can with your head spinning with decisions to make).
And I’m grateful… for the life that I have, the people I enjoy it with and the times like these that give me opportunities to learn, grow and help others!
From the bottom of my heart I thank you all!
For your love, your support and for offering help 😘
Let’s kick Cancer in the ass xx
My Journey… My Decisions
My Breast Cancer Journey
Welcome to my new journey… Breast Cancer.
If you just went WTF… join the club. That was pretty much my reaction too 😫
Some may wonder why I’m sharing my story so openly, and that’s ok to ask 🤔
I figure if I can help one person through either their own or someone else’s Breast Cancer journey, then it was worth it. If one person makes a change or changes in their lives, then I’ll be happy. If by sharing my journey I inspire, motivate, empower someone then my own Breast Cancer journey would have created good in the world.
On this journey I will make many self discoveries… in fact I already have. I hope to share these with you.
If this isn’t a journey you wish to listen to, watch or journey with me, then kei te pai! Please feel free to unfollow me… I won’t be upset.
You might want to send me love… I would love that.
You might want to give me advice… Can I ask that you simply put a sentence in the comments on what you’d like to give me advice on and if I require that info, I’ll ask you.
I have caught this early… I’m lucky! Breast Cancer is survivable and I will absolutely kick this Breast Cancer in its ass!
No feeling sorry for me! I have a good mindset, great people in my corner and a family that loves and supports me 100%.
Xx