Telling people I have Breast Cancer

And if I’m honest again… when I found the lump, I wasn’t exactly ‘not worried’. With a strong history of Breast Cancer in my family, I dreaded even going to find out!

When the news broke I had so many feelings!

Why me????
Was it not bad enough that I’d lost my Koko, my Dad and an adopted daughter already this year? Had I not already been tested enough? Had I not grown enough? Could I not just get a break??? Life and Business was thriving and now I was going to have to put it all on hold while I fix myself. How dare life do this to me!!!! 🤬😠😡😵😭

Fix it mode!!!
Right! OK. It is what it is, I can’t change it, so I just need to get through what I’ve got to get through. Do what I’ve got to do. I’ve been through so much in my life, I can get through this too.🤔💪

Protector mode…
What will the kids say, how will they feel? What will my family say, how will they feel? We’ve all already been through the ringer this year, I don’t want to cause more pain. I won’t tell them till I absolutely need to. The less time they feel pain, the better for them. 😨💔👨‍👩‍👦‍👦

I’m a Burden.
My friends and family have done so much for me already this year. I’ve relied on them so much through my other struggles. I won’t tell them either cos I don’t want to burden them. 😫😵🤐

But… it all came to an end one day when Eli and I realised we had held so much in that we burst and sadly our kids took the brunt of it 😢💔

So we sat them down and told them 🗣️👂

I won’t lie… there were tears 😭😭😭 that broke my heart 💔💔💔

But there was also love 😍💖

and words that our eldest son said to us 🗣️

“We are family, we do things together, you don’t have to do this alone” 👨‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍❤️‍👨

It made me realise that I was wrong to keep this from them. 😢

That in fact they had grown into incredible young men who were able to be my rock too, as I hope that I am one of theirs.🗻

It made me realise that I needed to tell people!

This year I’d learned and practiced being a Master Asker, even in the most difficult of times… the world was readying me for times like these.

I knew that I needed to ask for help when I needed it and accept help when offered.

I’ve also started to be more ‘present’ in all that I do (well as much as you can with your head spinning with decisions to make).

And I’m grateful… for the life that I have, the people I enjoy it with and the times like these that give me opportunities to learn, grow and help others!

From the bottom of my heart I thank you all!

For your love, your support and for offering help 😘

Let’s kick Cancer in the ass xx